"I'm two cups into my coffe break / I'm sitting alone in the café from the way"

Turning my cell off just to breathe
Cause everyone I know just keeps calling me

There's nothing more characteristic of the culture of today than "mobile communication"...society has never been so connected and yet so out of touch. Very few people talk to each other face to face. I, for one, think that we're desperately out of touch with more than just each other; we're out of touch with ourselves and with God. I am doing my best, at least personally, to remedy this. I can't turn off my cellphone for extended periods of time, without notifying my family and closest friends, as that's the only reliable way they have of getting a hold of me.

Cause I've over-committed myself
I guess this is growing up

Sometimes in our society, we have a hard time with one of the shortest words, "No"...and its interesting cause this is almost counter-cultural. Our culture tells us "me me me me" and yet, the only "me" that it doesn't stress is "me-time", the "me" that we all need the worst. I'm trying to re-connect with myself through "me time", self-care. It's one of the only ways you can be of full use, both to others and to God.

I'm sleeping so little these days
I guess this is growing up

It's no secret that I'm a bit of an insomniac, something which I inherited from my mother. I'm not too affected by it right now, but I firmly believe that its at least exacerbated by the constant flow of information that we are hit with in society; it keeps the brain going a mile a minute which never allows us to be still. It is in these times of stillness that we experience the "found moments," times where we discover things about ourselves, about God's plan, about our lives. Its our constant "connectedness" that robs us of these "found moments." I pray that everyone can disconnect in order to re-connect.

Now I'm done with my coffee break...

I hope that everyone can take this view on life at least for a little while. It would do them good.

"I've scraped the glass for crumbs/And asked the mirror for some truth..."

And I can't get away
And still I can't get close enough to you...

These last few weeks, I've learned a lot of things, including how to get closer to the person here on earth who matters the most to me. But at the same time, I can't get as close as I would like because there is a wall up. Actually, it's more like a chasm than a wall...a chasm with a very rickety bridge across it, which when crossed, allows for extremely intense experiences. Each of these experiences are prescious in their own right, but at the same time, after each of them is done, I'm left drained and confused again.

It's a constant reminder
Of what I can and cannot have
The smell, the taste, its all just fake
The truth is what I lack...

Each of these experiences brings with it an extremely complicated set of emotions. It brings the peace of being close again, with the confusion of loss, the intensity of passion and the sincerity of love. All of these emotions put together leave me feeling so lost in the sense that I'm not sure where to go from here. But in the same sense, they give me a sense of hope, showing me a glimpse of what the future may hold.

So I will keep on running
And keep my head above the ground
And I will look for you in places
You cannot be found

I will keep the faith and love burning, hoping to see this trial through to something beautiful oncen again.

--Kaylea